The road back to accountability

It has happened to us all before. Right as we start to get a steady routine (be it fitness or diet or both), something inevitably sticks a fork in our straight and focused road. We must then decide which way to go--the easy, excuse-laden road that bats a blind eye when our unhealthy habits creep back in, or the hard, often uphill road that holds us accountable for every action (and inaction) and keeps us on track.

I have been a proud and active participant in Self's Reach Your Goal! one-month body makeover, and for three weeks, I religiously stuck by the program. I ate right. I was active every day. I logged my meals and activity on their website, and was tracking my steady progress. When I came to a split in the road, I opted for the healthy, responsible decision. That is, until last week.

My workload was piling up, and my stress levels were through the roof, so I eased them with "treats" that I "deserved" (neglecting the ideology about not rewarding or consoling your emotions with food). After back-to-back all nighters to prepare for exams, caffeine was my life-line, and my daily 8 glasses or more of water evaporated into one...maybe. My packed schedule found ways of filling up even more, so I "gave myself a break" from my habitual workouts. When my boyfriend offered to order pizza for dinner, I ecstatically accepted because I was too exhausted to think about cooking--and then I didn't think twice about the four pieces I scarfed down .

Before I knew it, all my hard work and focused determination was swirling down the drain. All the times I opted for veggies and yogurt rather than pizza and chocolate. The week that I successfully went without caffeine. My morning runs and afternoon workouts. All of it lay in ruins from my week-long haphazard lifestyle.

Everything was in disarray, especially my responsibility for my actions. For three weeks I carefully logged my meals and workouts on Self's website, mentally patting my back for a job well done. But as soon as I started to slip, I stopped my daily visits. I couldn't own up to the shift, and I definitely didn't want to see what I was doing. Tracking it would only tarnish my perfect record. Out of sight, out of mind--right?

Laying in bed last night, I ran out of excuses. I had spent a week terrorizing my health (and my figure), and not only was I incredibly disappointed, I didn't feel like me. I enjoyed being healthy, I missed the gym, I was sick of eating junk food and not getting enough rest. I had to get myself turned around, so I put my tennis shoes at the foot of my bed and set my alarm early. One gym visit and a six mile workout later, I was back on track.

Today starts a new month of my Self program, and I'm revising my expectations. No matter what, I want to face my decisions and be accountable for my actions--even when they include indulging in ice cream sundaes or chocolate cake!